It Really is a Wonderful life, Jamie Reagan
by CAT217
Summary: Its Christmas time. Jamie finds out what it would have been like if he was never born.
1. Chapter 1

**With Christmas fast approaching I really wanted to do a Jamie centric story. I had an idea. We've all see 'It's a Wonderful Life'. The twist is it's Reagan style (of course). So do enjoy. Set during season 2. It's a short one. Couple of chapters no more then 5. Of course I could be wrong. *wink***

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Jamie walked into the family home. "Dad," Called Jamie.

"Good you can help me drag the tree in out of the garage. I don't know how I let your mother talk me into buying one of those artifical things."

"I'm allergic." Reminded Jamie.

Frank frowned slightly. He'd forgotten. "Sorry Jamie."

"It's good. Where is everyone else?"

"Danny and Linda are on their way. Erin is picking up Nicki from Jack'a. Apparently things didn't go very well." Frank frowned deeply.

"Gotcha. Well what do we have?" Jamie bent down and began digging into the ordament box. His hand froze on one of the trinkets. "I forgot about this." Jamie held up the ordament. It was a small picture frame his mother had made inside of it was a picture of all four of them. Jamie, Joe, Erin and on the end Danny. "I miss him."

"We all do. Especially this time of year. Joe was such a fanatic about Christmas and decorating. Mary and him would spend the day after Thanksgiving digging out all the lights hanging them up outside." Frank sighed.

"Hey everyone." Greeted Danny behind him was the rush sound of the boys, Sean and Jack. Linda rounding out the group. "That old thing again?" Groaned Danny as he fell onto the couch.

"Yes. You're mother loved this tree." Frank pointed out with an eyebrow raised.

"Why don't we get a real tree this year?"

"Because Jamie is allergic to pine."

"Sissy." Poked Danny.

"Bite me Danny." Growled Jamie.

"Enough I will not have you two ruin this. Like Thanksgiving, Christmas holds a lot of meaning for the Reagan's. You kids use to drive us nuts on putting up the tree. Decorating it. Then you all would sit down and write letter's to Santa. Put out cookies on Christmas Eve. Jamie you even fell asleep under the tree one time." Frank smiled.

Jamie remembered that well. He had fallen asleep but Joe had come down stairs and joined him. "Yeah and Joe joined me." Chuckled Jamie.

The living room went silent with a heaviness. It had been a nearly two years since Joe's death. No one really talked about it. When they did it was suffacating. "I need something to drink." Jamie quickly left. Escaping to the kitchen he slowed his breathing. His chest was tight. His heart clinched in a painful grasp of painful memories.

"You alright?" Danny asked joinging his brother.

"Good. You?"

"Okay. Christmas isn't my thing." Danny admitted.

"Why it's a great time of year. New York gets transformed over night it seems like." Jamie smiled

"And crime goes up. Tourists come in my droves." Danny complained.

"You are such a sour puss."

"That's me. How's your undercover work going?"

"It's fine. OCCB thinks it'll be done in anther month or so."

"Just don't get yourself killed."

"I'm not going to get myself killed. You really don't have any faith in me do you?"

"Honestly I don't think you should have quit. You could have done anything with that law degree of your's."

"My life. My decision." Defended Jamie.

"It's not a game Jamie. What you are into all that undercover work it's not a game."

I know that. I don't need you telling me this. You don't think I don't have that notion dancing in the back of my head? Because I do. But I also have the opportunity to put some very dangerous people behind bars." Jamie slammed the bottle onto the counter.

"You've only been a cop for what? It hasn't even been two years."

"So does that mean I'm not a cop? Sarge says I've got good insticts. Not to mention OCCB is impressed with my work." Jamie hottly defended.

"Oh well look at you Mr. 007" Quipped Danny.

"I'm done." Jamie stormed off. Danny hot on his trial.

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Jamie looked over at his dad. "Tell Erin and Nicki I'm sorry I'll catch them anther time." Picked up his coat and walked out.

Frank turned to look at his eldest. "Danny I asked you, no let me correct that I told the pair of you to be civil. You two can't even do that." Barked Frank.

"Sorry dad. I just don't know why he had to get wrapped up in undercover work. " Danny told them.

"Well it's his life. What he wants to do with it is his buisness. We all have to understand that." That had been the Commissioner speaking. The father in him was terrified. Everytime Garrett came in, or his phone rang. His heart sank. Memories of that day he learned of Joe's death crept into his heart, into his mind.

"Yes, sir."

"Hello." Erin came in followed by Nicki and Henry.

"Hey sweetie. Did you and grandpa get your shopping done?" Frank half heartly smiled.

"Ugh," Henry began. "No the stores are mobbed. I need to go out tomorrow again."

Nicki shook her head as she hung up her coat. "Well I'm done."

"Where's Jamie?" Erin scanned the room- no Jamie.

"Ask your brother." Frank raised his eyebrow.

"They got into anther fight." Scoffed Erin.

"That they did."

"When are you going to lay off him?" Scolded Erin.

"Look I'll go look for him okay." Offered Danny as he grabbed his coat.

"Good don't come back until you two have resolved your issue." Ordered Frank.

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Jamie made his way towards his brother's grave. Now covered in a white sheet of snow. Untouched. "Hey Joe. Merry Christmas." He sat the wreathe up against his tombstone. "Danny and I got into anther arguement. Somehow I think you already knew that. Sometimes I wonder if everyone would have been better off if I wasn't born. At least I wouldn't make Danny so mad. I wouldn't feel so heartbroken over loosing you."

"Is that what you think?" The voice said.

Jamie looked up. "Joe," he gasped.

"Hey Kid. So you think things would be better off if you where never born. Let's find out." Joe snapped his fingers.

"What just happened?" Jamie looked up at Joe.

"You no longer exist. You where never born." Joe told him.

Jamie looked over at the tombstone. Joseph Reagan, his mom, his gandma and grandpa. "Grandpa?"

"This is just the begining. Shall we." He spoke up nodding towards Jamie to fall into line with him.

**^*^*^BB^*^*^**

**Things get worse for Jamie as he realizes what an impact he truly had in his family. Not to mention his investigation into a certain group of dirty cops. As always don't forget to R & R.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is Ch 2. Enjoy.**

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Joe drudged towards the paved blacktop that had been shoveled.

"No." He said. Joe turned to see Jamie standing there a bewildered look etched along his features.

"Look Jamie we don't really have time for all this." Informed Joe.

"No- this is crazy, you're dead." Tears shimmered in his eyes, "dead. This isn't happening. I'm hallucinating, yeah that's it." Jamie reasoned.

Joe placed a caring hand on his brother's shoulder. "Jamie you are not hallucinating. You're not dreaming either. This is very real. I assure you." Informed Joe.

"No, no, no," Jamie shook his head.

"Jamie this is what you wanted. It's very real."

"But, but grandpa." Choked Jamie.

"Heart attack." Frowned Joe.

Jamie kicked at the ground, looked up at Joe. "Impossible Linda was there."

Joe tightened his grip on Jamie's arm. "It is very possible. Linda wasn't there."

"You're lying." Growled Jamie as he pulled away from Joe.

Joe huffed, "Listen hard-head we've got a lot of ground to cover. Little time to cover it. Jamie remember that movie mom and I use to watch?"

"Yeah it was an old black & white. You two would watch it every Christmas." Jamie snickered.

"Well it's sort of like that. You get to see what life would have been like if you were never born. Jamie you have no idea the impact you had in the family. But you will. Now we really need to go."

Relucantly Jamie went with him...

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Joe and Jamie stopped infront of the family home. Dark, not one decoration could be seen. "Wait this is our house. But dad spent most of the day decorating." Jamie looked around. The other houses were bright with multi-color lights or plain white lights.

"That was your reality. This isn't. Now here is rule one you don't touch anything. Rule two is no one can see or hear you. Shall we?"

The two boys walked into the house. There Jamie got the shock of his life. There sat their father, older, the flame that once burned bright in his eyes-gone. "This can't be right. Where is everyone? Erin, Nicki, Danny, Linda the boys. I mean he is still the Commissioner. Right?"

"No he's not. The Templar made sure that didn't happen."

"That's where you are wrong. The Templar was stopped. We took them down."

"No little brother they where never brought down. Matter of fact they are more powerful now then ever before."

Jamie leaned against the counter letting the words sink in, "I was approached to investigate them." Jamie looked at their dad. So much older. He looked so defeated. Frank Reagan was the shell of the man Jamie had known. Sitting alone no family. No one.

"Yes, and without you the FBI didn't have anyone else to turn to. Danny was one so they couldn't trust him."

"Impossible Danny got out."

"He got out all right." Joe looked over at his father, thankfull that it was only a 'what if' reality.

"What?"

"Danny got out. Just not the way he thought he was getting out. Jamie dad was pushed out by The Templar. However after my death, dad lost something but then when you joined the force, it gave him a new hope about the job. It revived him. Yeah he got tired a time or two but as he has always said 'I've got broad shoulders'," Joe smiled.

"I know. He's the strongest man I know. Or at least I thought I knew." Jamie bit his lower lip as he looked at his father. "I still can't believe that it was because I wasn't born."

"You are stubborn. Fine let's go check in on our big brother."

"Okay." Jaime followed Joe out of the house. Leaving Frank sitting alone in a darkened house alone.

"I sense a bit of hostility." Joe looked over at Jamie.

"Maybe. Or maybe I don't believe any of this."

"Jamie listen I know things haven't been easy. Especially when it came to loosing me. I'm sorry for that. I wish things would have been different. I wish that I was with you and the rest of the family but I'm not. It was my time. But it's not your time. You made the choice that you were destined to do. Mom understands that too." Joe stopped in front of a run down building, looked over at Jamie, "Look we're here." Joe nodded towards the building.

"Its a bar. Memory serves it has a nasty rep."

"That hasn't changed. Danny on the other hand. Well you'll see." Joe pulled Jamie into the bar. There in the corner of the bar sat Danny on the table sat a half bottle of something.

"He's undercover." Jaime simplified.

"No. You can't be undercover if you don't have a shield. Danny lost his shield last year after a bust in which he roughed up a suspect pretty bad. There was no one to back him up. The Reagan name didn't matter. Not that it was suppose to make us important anyway. With The Templar in power it was easy for them to push him out.

"If I was alive The Templar wouldn't be in power. I know Danny has a temper. But he got better when he got moved to Major Case." Jamie quietly stated. "But what about Linda. She is his rock."

"True he did for a whle then Sean was accidently shot before Danny's shield was taken. He never had a chance. Linda blamed Danny. She took Jack and left."

"Not Sean?"

"Unfortunatly." Joe huffed. "He never had a chance. It tore them apart. The familly wasn't there to help them through it. Neither of them had anyone to lean on. Each of them blamed each other."

"Danny I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jamie sobbed.

"Lil' brother this is just the tip of the iceburg."

"I just can't rap my head around all of this. Just because I'm not here all of this happened? I just can't believe it." Jamie shook his head in denial. "This is just too much."

"You asked for it. Jamie I know you and Danny go at each other. For the life of me I really don't know why. I thought for a while that maybe. But he needles you and you punch back."

"He asks for it. I'm a cop and he treats me like I'm not good enough. I think I've proven myself. Time and time again."

"Stop right there. Danny thinks you're good enough. Trust me. It's not so much that- he just doesn't want to loose anther brother. Loose anymore family. That is why he acts the way he acts. It won't always be like this. Believe me there is coming a time when you two will work things out."

"I hope your right."

"Come on I'm always right." Joe winked at Jamie. "So little brother do you understand what would have happened?"

"I didn't realize. I can't bare to see anymore." Jamie confessed shutting his eyes tightly as they pinched out tears of sorrow.

"You don't get off that easy. We still have to see Erin. It's not going to be easy."

Joe nodded for Jamie to follow him out. Jamie took one more look over at Danny. He hadn't realized what he meant to each of his family members. He had been key in bringing down The Templar. He knew then right then he had been the 'glue' that had held his family during that first year of his rookie career.

**^*^*^BB^*^*^**

I hope everything melded together. I'll have the next chapter up towards the end of the week. Just a little plug on Under & Alone will be kicking off again after the 1st of the year. Lots of twists and suprises up my sleeve on that one.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ch 3. Enjoy. **

**^*^*^BB^*^*^**

They stopped in front of a brick building. "Seems nice." Jamie observed.

"Oh it's a great area." Joe sneered.

"Why don't I believe you then." Jamie said.

"Because looks can be deceiving." Joe pointed out.

"What do you mean by that?" Jaime's asked with worry.

"Jamie before we go in I need you to promise me to keep calm."

Jamie looked over at his brother. "Why are you telling me this? Erin is okay right? I mean she looks like she did well for herself and Nicki." Jaime scanned the neighborghood.

"Nicki isn't with her. She's with Jack. You'll understand." Joe nodded towards the man walking towards the building.

"What's he doing here?" Growled Jamie as he narrowed his eyes down on the man.

"That's what I have been trying to tell you. Promise me this-don't blame Erin." Pleaded Joe.

"Why would I blame Erin for anything? Joe I want answers. Now."

"Well Erin got a case it was circumstancial at best. The case belonged to Malvesky, he wasn't to happy that she dropped the case. One night after she was leaving her office. He snatched her. She did her best to fight him off. She really did but he won out. He made her write a letter to Jack and to the rest of the family. Sure dad did what he could do to find her. But there was nothing. Malvesky covered his tracks very well. I just want you to be prepared for what you are about to see. The Erin upstairs isn't the Erin we love and grew up with. She's been broken in every way imaginable."

"I can't. No I won't do this take me back." Pleaded Jamie.

"You can and you will. This is what you wanted little brother. You are going to finish this." Joe firmly told him.

"No I don't." Jamie turned around and began to walk away. He turned the corner to find himself right back at the same spot he was at. "What is this? So I can't leave?"

"Exactly. You asked for this. Look Jamie maye I've been harsh on you. For that I'm sorry. But I am trying to get you to understand the impact that you have in the family."

"I get it. We can call it a night." Pleaded Jamie.

"You wanted this and you are going to finish it." Joe nearly repeated his previous sentense.

"Fine let's get this over with." Pouted Jamie as he stormed into the apartment complex.

"Really Jamie? What are you nearly thirty acting like your five." Joe rolled his eyes.

"Shut it Joe." Warned Jamie as the two of them followed Malevsky into the apartment.

"Just a reminder they can't hear you and you CAN'T touch anything." Joe stated in a matter of fact voice.

Jamie nodded.

Malevsky threw his jacket over the back of the couch. "Sweetheart I'm home." It wasn't a soft loving voice. More of a seething nasty voice.

Jamie looked at Joe, "sweetheart."

"Just look," Joe pointed to the doorway that Malevsky went into.

Caustiously Jamie followed. There leaned up against one of the bedroom walls was Erin. Or what had looked like Erin. "What happened to her?"

"After I got shot. Her marriage to Jack began to unravel. He made some pretty ugly enemies. One of them being Malevsky. Then of course there was the case I told you about that brought those two together. And I use the word together very loosly. Malevsky didn't like the outcome wanted pay back. One night while she was heading to her car he snatched her. She's been here ever since."

"What about Jack? Nicki? I mean seriously they should have known something was wrong."

"Malevsky was smart about it. Forced her at gunpoint to write them a letter. Made her say all sort of nasty things. Told them she didn't love them. She was tired of living like this. The usual hate letter. Tore Nicki apart. It did give Jack a wake up call. He is a very attentive father."

Jamie stared at Erin black circles lined her eyes. Bruises along her cheek. "What has he done to you?"

"He broke her in every way possible." Choked Joe.

Malevsky knelt down beside Erin, stroking her hair. "You've been a good girl. You keep this up I might unlock your chains." He chuckled. He stood her up unlocked her bondage and escorted her to the bathroom.

"Time to wash up."

Erin mindlessly walked alongside of him. She slid her arm beside him snatching his gun. "Erin baby put the gun down. Your not going to shoot me." Growled Malevsky.

"Yooouuu, I haattee yyoouu." She stuttered slurring her words. "Yoouu toookkk eeevvverrything," she seethed as her speech began to improve. "My brother. My family. But it all ends tonight." Erin stuck the gun under her chin...

"NOOOOoo," cried Jamie as he ran towards her.

"Jamie," Joe grabbed his little brother's arm. "You can't."

Jamie turned around.

"You are going to see what happens." Joe spun his brother around.

The two of them watched as Erin pulled the trigger. Her blood pouring onto the tan carpet. "Stupid." Malevsky snatched his cell phone. "I've got a probelm. My place one hour."

Jamie fell to his knees. "Erin I'm sorry. Oh I'm so sorry," he sobbed. Her vacant eyes just stared at him. Accusing almost. "I'm so sorry."

Joe knelt down beside him. "If you were born none of this would have happened."

The words echoed all around Jamie. "I take it back, I take it all back. Fix this." Begged Jamie. "I take it all back."

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Jamie sat there rocking back and forth his eyes closed tightly. "I take it all back. I take it all back."

"Take what back?" The voice asked from behind him.

Jamie slowly opened his eyes, he looked around. There he sat on snow cover ground beside Joe's grave. Blinking blankly up at the man the voice belonged to. "Danny."

"Hey kid. Figured this where you would have been at." He stooped down beside Jamie. "Look I'm sorry Jamie. I shouldn't be so hard on you. It's just that I don't want to loose you either." Danny glanced over at the tombstone.

"I know. I'm sorry to Danny I shouldn't needle you. It's just that I've always wanted to do this job. To have you against me it hurts." Jamie openly admitted.

"You're good at your job Jamie I should have told you that."

"Thanks Danny. You think with Christmas and a New Year closing in we can make a fresh start?"

"I'd like that." Smiled Danny. "However if I don't get you home dad is going to skin me alive. Plus Erin and Nicki just came back with pops from shopping."

"What are we waiting for?" Grinned Jamie as he jumped up from his kneeling postion.

"You alright?"

"Beyond alright." He beemed over at his brother.

^*^*^BB^*^*^

Jamie bounced into the house. It filled with laughter and the smell of coffee. "I see you found him."

Danny gave a sheepish smile. "He was over at the graveyard. Visiting Joe."

Frank looked at his youngest who was hugging everyone. "He alright?"

"He said he is."

Jamie listened to the family chatter. "Jamie you alright. You've been fairly quiet." His grandfather questioned.

"Fine, just taking it all in." Beamed Jamie.

"Taking what in?" Chimed his father.

"The family. The love. The closeness we all have. Just thankful that I'm a part of it."

"What brought this on?" Asked his father.

"Let's just say It's a Wonderful Life." Jamie answered. Thanks Joe, he added silently.

**^*^*^BB^*^*^**

**The End. Sorry I couldn't post this on Christmas Eve. Just was so busy. Well with this done. It's now time to get back to Under & Alone. *evil grin***


End file.
